Deep Holes, Heavy Hearts

This blog is taken from El Salvador Team Member Kelli Green’s Blog: Adventurously Expectant-http://huskerkelli0.tumblr.com/post/92725634825

July 23 El Salvador

The past two days of work have consisted of digging deep, deep holes, wheelbarrow races, and smiles upon smiles. I’ve never worked so hard in my life, but I’m not sure if I’ve ever had more fun. The feeling of satisfaction after finishing an 8-foot deep hole is way better than the feeling after reaching the top of Wayna Picchu, and that’s really saying something.

But my heart is heavy tonight. Carlos told me yesterday that he hopes to get a job with Habitat in the future working as a mason, but in order to get a job he needs to have a high school education. When Nila asked him today about why he’s not going to school, Carlos shared that he is not able to go because of gang violence in his neighborhood. Two rival gangs have taken over his neighborhood, and if he crosses the lines of territory, he is in serious danger.

He wants to go to school. He wants to get an education. But this 16-year-old boy who works harder than anyone I’ve ever met is not able to have a better life because of conditions he cannot control.

One of our leaders shared more information with us about gangs in El Salvador at our team meeting tonight. Carla, who is in her late twenties, said that she loves children and would love more than anything to be a mom, but she doesn’t know if she will ever choose to have children. She knows the system, and she knows that every child is in danger. She spoke of kids as young as five-years-old joining gangs. And they don’t have a choice. This beautiful woman, who would be such a great mom, doesn’t want to bring a child into a world where she cannot keep him/her safe. It breaks my heart.

I struggle so much with the fact that I have so much when others have so little. It’s not fair. I was born in the greatest country in the world where I have freedom and parents who have given me opportunity upon opportunity to be whoever I want to be and achieve whatever I put my mind to. Growing up in small town Nebraska, I never had to worry about my safety or live in fear. These kids live in fear every day. The fact that Carlos or Christian or Luis or Antonio or Wilber or any one of these children could be forced to join a gang at any time is just not fair. I was born with the amazing blessings that I have and the conditions that I am in and really haven’t had to work for much. But I can’t say the same for my Salvadoran friends. Our conditions are complete opposites. And right now, I really don’t know how to deal with that.

I’m clinging to God’s promises and Papa Ronnie’s words are ringing in my head, “To whom much has been given, much is expected.”