Devotion: Awe & Wonder
Please take the time to read Psalm 46
Early on in the pandemic when daily death counts were rising and being tabulated in almost real-time on TV screens across the country and terms like ‘social distancing’, ‘contact tracing’, and ‘super-spreader’ were beginning to enter our everyday lexicon, and meanness appeared to be spreading faster than the virus, I didn’t like how I felt inside.
Like millions of people around the world, watching the news or reading almost anything on social media had left me feeling overwhelmed and anxious and kind of unkind and judgmental. And yet, for a while, I couldn’t stop. I listened to the news in my car. I watched on TV while logged on to a social media app on my phone. I was certain the top of each hour was going to bring a cure or at least something new to share; or there was going to be a post that had some answers. But it didn’t happen over and over and over again. And despite having similar feelings, experiences, and mindsets with millions of people, I felt alone.
I remember being on a walk in my neighborhood where yards have big, old trees that at certain times of year form canopies over the streets. I was talking to God in my head (although it may have even been out loud) and asking, as I often do, “Where do we go from here?” and sometimes throwing in a “Give me some direction.” I said this on a loop, over and over and over again.
Maybe I threw in a “Where are you?” or maybe God just decided to remind me that He hadn’t abandoned us, but there was a breeze and I remember saying out loud “There you are.” I knew without a doubt that God was right there in the flutter of the leaves, in that breeze. And I stopped to look around to see where else God was. “There you are,” I said to the rays of sunshine and the peacefulness of my walk. He was there in the squirrels chasing each other and a neighbor walking her dog. He was there, everywhere I looked when I wasn’t looking at a screen.
It would be cliché and a lie to say I went home that day and stopped watching the news. But at some point, I’m not proud to say, I did stop watching the news. It started as an experiment to see if I could do it and now it’s just what I don’t do. I don’t watch the news. I do read some newspapers and get a daily news email that I sometimes read but mostly don’t and that’s about it. And I don’t know if it speaks poorly about me or the content of the news, but I don’t miss it and I don’t think I’m missing out on anything.
I have tried to replace the news by making it a habit, although I’m not sure I do it often enough to call it that yet, to look for God and say (at least in my head, if not out loud) “There you are.” Driving down the street and seeing someone singing in their car has prompted me to say to God, “There you are.” Seeing two people share coffee and laughs at a local coffee shop will remind me to say, “There you are.” I will see Him when someone holds the door open for me and I will feel Him when I do that for someone else. And when I’ve made a point of looking, I’ve seen God in people I don’t like and been reminded God does not view us through filters or pick favorites.
And I feel…better, calmer, nicer, more accepting.
I’m still working on putting down my phone when I have downtime. I could certainly relate to Pastor Michelle saying that she was in line and it took her all of 30 seconds to pick up her phone. That can be me and this worship series has helped me to be more conscious of it and try to change my habits because I don’t think that is good. I’m not even sure what I do on it sometimes.
God doesn’t see us filtered through a screen or communicate with us through mean memes. And it’s hard to see God through a screen or memes or 24-hour news cycles where all of the news is breaking or leaning or not even newsworthy.
In a world that can feel as if it’s falling apart, as Psalm 26 says, “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.…Be still and know that I am God.” There He is, all around you! Look, see Him and say it out loud “There you are.” We can do this!
Dear God,
In a chaotic world where too often technology can replace real relationships and have negative impacts on my health, let my focus be on finding you wherever I am. Help me not to fear but to trust in you.
Amen
Written by Dacia Kruse
Dacia lives in Lincoln and was married in October. She is a lobbyist and mediator through The Mediation Center where she primarily works with parents who are separating and trying to figure out how to co-parent their kids.
She has been a member of Sheridan since the late 1990’s. She regularly attends Lunch Table Theology and serves on a Saturday evening hospitality team, the Sunday morning Welcome Center team and as a Wedding Coordinator. In her free time, she likes to read, travel, shop and decorate her house.